Busy times

I've heard someone say that pastors should never say that they're busy. I'm too busy to remember why. (ha) (really, I know someone said that it was somehow unpastoral or unfaithful - anyone remember the reasoning?)

I can tell that I'm entering a season of a LOT of activity - the kick-off in September always is a busy time, but it's going to be even more so this year. Our budget committee wants to kick start the whole process earlier this year so stewardship is completely finished before Thanksgiving. Our church is in the midst of a big series of discussion and learning as we discern starting a new ministry, and there will be pastoral implications since this would mean the C-word. (actually our congregation is mostly good with CHANGE - but this time we're talking BIG CHANGE) I'm also in leadership in our conference right now and there is lots of change going on there which is going to require many more Big Important Meetings at the regional office throughout the fall. So, sanity-keeping is going to be at a premium now through the holidays, I imagine.

And in the midst of all this, I live knowing my life could change completely at any moment. We're waiting for the big phone call, which may or may not come at any moment, saying that our family will be growing, through foster-adoption. In some ways it's so freeing to look at my calendar and think about the calls I'd make to cancel everything for a month to take parental leave. And it's also terrifying - totally unknown and unpredictable. God seems to have had me working on patience and flexibility for a while now, and I'm not sure how much more ready I can be. The number of people asking if I've heard anything has recently dramatically increased. I'm a little worried I'm going to lose it and scream at the next person who asks. Balance, Sabbath, prayer, calm.... here we go again, God.

Friday Five: Word Association, Redux
This one is patterned off an old Friday Five written by Songbird, our Friday Five Creator Emerita:Below you will find five words. Tell us the first thing you think of on reading each one. Your response might be simply another word, or it might be a sentence, a poem or a story.1. vineyard2. root3. rescue4. perseverance5. divided(Each of these appears in one of the readings from this Sunday's lectionary.)

Vineyard... I don't have a whole lot of experience with vineyards - around here they supply the rich and famous with getaways and tourists with leisure activities. My favorite vineyards are probably the grape vines my midwestern uncle and aunt and grandmother have in their gardens - a supply for some of the sweetest and strongest homemade wines you've ever tasted, which grace family gatherings with tastes of sun in a glass.

Root... there's that saying about giving your kids roots and wings. I'm so not ready for any wings, but that's because they're still little. Roots are terribly important to me. Tremendously important. Especially after recent deaths in our extended family - I want to dig as deep as I can, for me and my kids, to anchor us and connect us. Strong roots make for greater growth and more blooms and fruit.

Rescue... is something I resist having done to me or doing to others. In most cases. Then I lose my mind and think I'm Jesus all over again.

Perseverance... is a word that makes me want to take a nap and eat some carbs.

Divided... is a depressing word that describes my community and world too aptly, and I'm irritated that Jesus uses it this week as part of his self-description of his mission on earth. Ugh. I'm UCC and I'm all about unity so this stinks. The message version says "disrupt and confront" instead of divide, which isn't any easier but still somehow better for me. I'd look up the Greek but I have a funeral today and a wedding tomorrow and a sermon the next day that are not prepared yet.

whoo- hoo - my First Friday Five. Here's to many more to come!

Funny moments

My kids crack me up. My son wakes up regularly in the middle of the night still, scared, even though he's 6. Usually my husband goes - yes I know I'm very lucky. A few nights ago he woke up about 5:30 in the morning. I got up this time and went in. He said "Mom, it's pitch white outside. I'm scared." It was a cloudy morning, and he's right, it was pitch white.

My daughter is 4 and very stubborn. She doesn't listen well. But she's getting better at some behavior issues. For the last several days, she happily tells us when we pick her up from preschool that she didn't hit anyone today. Whoo-hoo!

My son said yesterday that he doesn't want me to work - he wants us all to stay home together. Sigh. My husband's a stay-at-home dad and the boy is a tad spoiled, I think. I think I should take him to visit a day care center so he realizes he should be happy with one of us at home. I'll have to find a horrid one though so it would work.

Some members of my staff continue to amaze me with their antics. One has decided she can call me at home whenever she wants and whenever she doesn't want to deal with something that comes up. She's leaving soon, although I may lose it one day and fire her before she actually leaves.

I'm off today for Big Important Meeting at upper judicatory offices in hoity toity city. I am in a goofy mood and will need to control myself so as not to startle staid colleagues. Luckily some who will be there are, like me, not at all staid.

a new name?

Okay, I just changed my screenname. Perhaps I will have a change of heart again later, but Rev. Zookeeper seems to fit right now. My job seems to consist of making sure the animals are fed and watered, keeping the lions from eating the lambs, and cleaning up lots of poop. That's ministry in this funky loving church in a vastly changing neighborhood in a starting-to-fall-apart building and a complicated mix of ministry commitments. So, there we go!

Life...

Okay, blogging is tough for me, but maybe if I don't try too hard it could happen more?

So, there were BB's shot through the church library window yesterday. The policeman was so calm about it all I thought he might curl up and take a nap. He also spoke extremely quietly and it was very difficult to understand anything he said.

And there's yet another major leak in the sprinkler system.

Staff meeting today. I think my staff are intentionally working to give me good stories to share at my upcoming cont. ed. workshop on being a boss.

I think I'm supposed to do something with that Bible and worship stuff too, and maybe something pastoral, but I'm not sure when...

New Starts

Okay, I obviously didn't yet start this project, but every day is a new beginning, right?

The guilt about constant lurking is growing, so I think I shall attempt once more to actually contribute something to blogland, if only a small and inconsequential little stop in a corner.

So, my daughter, who is three almost four, loves zebras, loves everything striped. I think zebras are fascinating - they stick out so much in the landscape, I don't quite yet know how they got that way. I think I feel a kinship to them. I am a pastor, but I am much younger and much femaler than almost everyone's idea of what a pastor looks like. People have outright laughed when they hear it. One guy recently was looking for the pastor to ask for a handout. He literally could not believe that the pastor was me. Could not grasp it. At all. You'd think someone who wanted something from me could try to contain his shock at least a little.

And just this last week I had a painful experience with a colleague who decided to blame her frustration with my decision not on the fact that we might have different understandings of our faith and our role as pastors, but on the fact that I am "so young" and just don't know. The fact that I now have 5 years of ordained ministry and 6 years before and during seminary working in lay positions in the church doesn't matter a bit - but it won't matter when I have 30 years of experience either, I imagine.

And so I think of myself as a little like the zebra wandering around - sticking out so clearly for the tourists to gawk at, but still a beautiful creature of God. And hence the name of the blog, which still doesn't seem to fit - too cheesy, I think. But as much as I hate naming sermons, naming a blog is a billion times harder. It may change again soon, we'll see.

Blogging

I don't know if I'm ready for a blog. It's a commitment. Just coming up with a name is agony. I read them, and I write, and I enjoy doing both, so maybe I'll convince myself this is a step and I too can be a blogger. We'll see.